Some harsh language is in this post

Last weekend was the Christopher Street West Pride Festival in West Hollywood. I skipped the parade and only went to the festival for a couple of hours which also means that I skipped the annual attack of the “fundies” aka Christian Fundamentalists.

I just wasn’t in the mood to be swamped by, a reported, 300,000 people. On top of that, I have really felt a bit out of sync with the WeHo gay community the last few years.

As much as I enjoy having it there and available for those infrequent occasions that I feel like drinking and dancing, the fact is that is that as far as WeHo is concerned, I have been categorized as completely un-fuckable. Since I am over 30, don’t have a perfect body and/or more money than God, the boys want to play with with other little playthings like themselves.

As much as I like to stick it to the Christian Right in this country about their judgemental bullshit, their argument of homosexuality and immorality has a basis in fact, though not in the way they think of and some of it is their own fault as well.

If there is an inherent immorality in being gay, it’s not in the gender of whom you sleep with, but why. With the fundie fight to deny gay people the right of marriage and in many places the attempts to deny them even the rights of a civil-union, the fundamentalists leave gay people with no way to be anything but fornicators. With the laws being what they currently are, there is no solution except to maybe be celibate (I don’t think so).

If anyone has any doubts that heterosexuals would be just as sexually promiscuous if they didn’t have to worry about pregnancy, well they are just kidding themselves. Straight or Gay, men are men and as someone once said, “A stiff prick hath no morals.”

Back when President Clinton was attempting to open military service to openly gay and lesbian people, I heard a radio talk show where someone called in and asked why straights hated gays so much. No I can’t remember who it was that said it, but their response was amazing, it went like this:

Straight men are afraid that Gay men will do to them,
what Straight men have been doing to women for the past 10,000 years.

Now, I know no straight men that would admit it, but I do know a few who have commented that gays have it lucky to get laid and not have to worry about creating the proverbial “bun in the oven.”

I chat with many people on the internet and amongst the gay ones, they nearly always tell me that they would love a long-term, committed relationship with that someone special. The sad part is when you meet them in person, they fall back into the trappings of gay cultural ideas such as needing to get laid on the first date or there is no second one. Too bad, I rarely sleep with someone I don’t know.

Such things kind of remind me of a scene from the movie “Latter Days“. One of the characters, a pretty party-boy named Christian has brought some guy, named Mort, home and Mort started rimming him and Christian asks if they could talk a bit. Mort misunderstands and starts talking dirty. Christian tells him that isn’t what he meant and explains that he wants some conversation. Mort seems to think that would be a bit to intimate to which Christian responds; “a moment ago you were practically tonguing my spleen, but a little conversation is too intimate?” Mort thinks Christian is too kinky and leaves, as strange as that sounds, it’s not that far from the truth in a strange sort of way.

Now don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care less what others choose to do in the privacy of their own lives, but if we are going to fight for the rights and privileges of marriage, wouldn’t it be a good idea to show some personal responsibility in our community?

There are some who say that part of it has to do with our stunted sexual growth as gay people in a predominantly straight world. Straight guys just can’t seem to get the idea that while they were changing from girls being gross and vulgar “things” to something of attraction, they could stare, flirt and work their way through whatever personal issues they may have had and work their way to asking them out. At the same time, gay youth are going through much the same, but they are quickly finding out that those unlike themselves are potentially dangerous to them socially if not in some cases physically. They learn to hide and do not get to grow through the “awkward” stages. When they finally get to the point where they come out and find a community of like people, they tend to act out with a vengeance. Sadly, many never really grow out of it and end up feeling like an outcast amongst the young and beautiful.

Let us as gay, lesbian and trans-gendered people start to grow beyond what we have been and grow into what we may be. In many cultures, homosexuality was not only accepted, but celebrated. In some cultures, the trans-gendered were celebrated and considered to be an omen of goodness. Let us remember we don’t have to be the stereotypical “gay” anymore than we were the expectation of heterosexuality.

Written by R. A. Burgener

After finishing the 850 mile trek of self-rediscovery on California's El Camino Real from San Diego to Sonoma, California, Robert continued, via Greyhound, to Portland, Oregon, where he is becoming familiar with the concepts of weather and seasons after 30 years in Los Angeles.

This article has 2 comments

  1. avatar
    old la hippie chick Reply

    so that an old lady can read your posts would you please not use red ink on a gray background???

  2. avatar
    dutch Reply

    very interesting. I have asked many of the questions and have started researching for a book about “The myth of biblical marriage”

    there are no patterns or models for gay relationships as there are for straights

    It is hard to be gay and to be committed to monogamy and to Christianity. I thought “Latter Days” was awesome. It was not predictable nor pat.

    It is encouraging to learn others share the same struggles on the path!

    pax – Dutch

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