I was having a conversation with one of my clients earlier and it brought to mind the trials and tribulations of being who and what I am.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining (much) but there are many things that one gets put before them. My sister used to call me a spiritual weigh-station in that people come in, get or do what they need to and then go about their merry way. Is this a problem, only when I allow myself to become attached and don’t want them to go. In other cases, it’s a major blessing that certain people come and go quickly, fortunately they are getting few and far between.

I guess my least favorite part is the fact that when I meet someone that I want to get to know (sometimes in a biblical sense) and while they like me, they end up viewing me as a brother, or worse, father confessor. Now it is actually quite a compliment that these people want to share their lives with me in sometimes intimate detail, I have to admit that at times I want to grab them by the throat and tell them, “I don’t want to hear about your sins, I want to participate in them with you!” Can you see my occasional frustration?

The people who know me from my day to day life don’t judge me in a particularly harsh way, but those who meet me as a teacher can be brutal. They expect someone to fulfill their idea of what a teacher is supposed to be and where many take on that mantel, I am NOT! I am human, I believe God gave me a body and put me into the world to enjoy the fruits of his creation (pardon the double entendre–snicker).

I have no interest in becoming a eunuch for the praise of students who may or not listen to what I say. I look at Jesus and wonder what he would think of being made into the idol of millions of Christians instead of being their ideal.

I view my life as a spiritual Johnny Appleseed in the idea that I plant seeds wherever I am and hope that at sometime in the future they will grow. Since few people stay around for long, that’s about the best that I can do.

As of late, I have begun to notice that a few people are starting to return on occasion and that they want more than usual. This is probably a good thing and it will help me grow. Many don’t admit it, but I find that when I have students, I learn as much as they do, from them.

For the most part, my life is really very good and I am beginning to feel like I can finally relax and take a breather for a bit and then start working on the next stage. What they will be, I haven’t decided as of yet. If the past is any indication, it should be interesting and unique.

Written by R. A. Burgener

After finishing the 850 mile trek of self-rediscovery on California's El Camino Real from San Diego to Sonoma, California, Robert continued, via Greyhound, to Portland, Oregon, where he is becoming familiar with the concepts of weather and seasons after 30 years in Los Angeles.

This article has 1 comment

  1. avatar
    Anonymous Reply

    she sayeth that even though it be fun fun fun to “know” someone, it still should be said that good friends get ‘cha through times better than some “just lettin it all hang out”.
    and ye shall know me as
    A. Nonny Mouse with a heigh and a ho and a heigh nonny nonny.

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