A tough answer to Why?
When I talk to many people that either do not believe in God, in any…
I was having a conversation with one of my clients earlier and it brought to mind the trials and tribulations of being who and what I am.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining (much) but there are many things that one gets put before them. My sister used to call me a spiritual weigh-station in that people come in, get or do what they need to and then go about their merry way. Is this a problem, only when I allow myself to become attached and don’t want them to go. In other cases, it’s a major blessing that certain people come and go quickly, fortunately they are getting few and far between.
I guess my least favorite part is the fact that when I meet someone that I want to get to know (sometimes in a biblical sense) and while they like me, they end up viewing me as a brother, or worse, father confessor. Now it is actually quite a compliment that these people want to share their lives with me in sometimes intimate detail, I have to admit that at times I want to grab them by the throat and tell them, “I don’t want to hear about your sins, I want to participate in them with you!” Can you see my occasional frustration?
The people who know me from my day to day life don’t judge me in a particularly harsh way, but those who meet me as a teacher can be brutal. They expect someone to fulfill their idea of what a teacher is supposed to be and where many take on that mantel, I am NOT! I am human, I believe God gave me a body and put me into the world to enjoy the fruits of his creation (pardon the double entendre–snicker).
I have no interest in becoming a eunuch for the praise of students who may or not listen to what I say. I look at Jesus and wonder what he would think of being made into the idol of millions of Christians instead of being their ideal.
I view my life as a spiritual Johnny Appleseed in the idea that I plant seeds wherever I am and hope that at sometime in the future they will grow. Since few people stay around for long, that’s about the best that I can do.
As of late, I have begun to notice that a few people are starting to return on occasion and that they want more than usual. This is probably a good thing and it will help me grow. Many don’t admit it, but I find that when I have students, I learn as much as they do, from them.
For the most part, my life is really very good and I am beginning to feel like I can finally relax and take a breather for a bit and then start working on the next stage. What they will be, I haven’t decided as of yet. If the past is any indication, it should be interesting and unique.